the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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