I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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