I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
he thought i was a dude.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
