I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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