The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize