I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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