If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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