Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
