Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
