I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
