Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
