Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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