just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
