im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
