2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I enjoy the company of your penis
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