your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm just crazy horny about you
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
