somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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