Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
