she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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