The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
