oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
