That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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