Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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