Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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