well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
