I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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