i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
