you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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