I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
It's blow job season.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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