Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
