fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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