This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
