I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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