i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
