You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
