Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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