I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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