you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
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When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I just found puke in my bra..
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
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You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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