is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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