I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
