went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize