There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
