Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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