They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
