it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It was a blind-side dick pic.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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