He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
