Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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