You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
