Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
