i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
