Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
