I wanna bring you to show and tell
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
