I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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