i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
