I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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