Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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