Duck Duck Cougar?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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