im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
