Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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