i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
