im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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