Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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