the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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