She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
