FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
